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When I Leave

by INKA

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1.
REM Sleep 02:21
you’re not special at all you’re not special at all you’re kinda thick in the middle and you’re not even that tall we hardly talk day to day and when we do its ok the words you say they’re not precious no they’re not memorable but i had a dream we made out in the gym yeah you turned off the lights and put your hands on my thighs and i started to feel like this was something i wanted and then i woke up what the fuck i wanna look up your sign see if the stars make me like you just give me the tiniest clue why I’m closing my eyes yeah and i had a dream that you took off your shirt and it wasn’t that great but my mind made it work and you turned off the lights put your face next to mine and then i woke up what the fuck so when i see you today when I’m out by my locker I’m gonna make my lips pucker and see if you turn your head maybe its better instead if i just go by unnoticed make no intention to close this and save the dreams for my bed but every night when I’m slipping under into REM sleep fingertips on your number thinking bout the last time that we both said hi quietly and then passed without more than a smile yeah i’m starting to feel this is something i want now this is something i need now this is something i crave then i start with a wake in the brightness of day and i turn to get up what the fuck
2.
Ghost 02:09
october was an easy run but i had jumped the gun and started to trip over something in the way he said my name didn’t seem the same than when he said it weeks ago maybe had i angel-fied with cameos in dreams flying through the open window pale, gravity-free could that ghost be me november was the darker time i became aligned with all his true intentions he never wanted anything but coffee in the morning the oil in the engine but i was so dignified although i felt a scream flying through my shuttered mouth begging to be free cause he had ghosted me i combed my hair twenty times and bit the apple core old grandmother magic that don’t do a thing no more the ghost outside the lore maybe had i angel-fied with cameos in dreams flying through the open window pale, gravity-free could that ghost be me begging to be free cause he had ghosted me
3.
Black Hole 01:27
i lie awake in bed because there’s no way of telling if the case that’s down the road has any way of spreading and it hangs over the city over the country over the world and i think of my life versus ten thousand ten thousand to one little girl and whats the point of making yourself scream inside with terror at the thought of telling someone that you want to know them better when the clock upon the wall above us all is ticking faster I’m a mess we’re all just messy people dying ever after i’m running down a hallway and the door is getting smaller and behind there’s only nothing there’s no light and there’s no colour when i die i’ll have no eyes i’ll have no teeth i’ll have no hair there’s a black hole in the centre and i’ll not even be there
4.
Over 03:05
i just want to hold your face i just want to leave this place i just want a feather down i just want november now i just want to say i’m over i’m over it anyway i don’t need an awful lot i don’t need the friends i got i don’t need my little job i don’t need to mourn the loss i just need to say i’m over i’m over it anyway i think i make circles too i think i’m obsessed with you i think i just think too small i think i don’t think at all i don't think i'll say i’m over it over it anyway i’m over it over it anyway i see sad girls turn to dust over mistaken games of lust i see nothing when i reflect maybe i’m just dust myself maybe there will come a day when i will be over it anyway i'm over it over it anyway i'm over

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released October 14, 2014

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